Sometimes the hardest part of making a choice that goes against who we are is facing the question, “what kind of person would do this?”

A values-based approach invites a different question: "What happened between what I value and what I chose?"

There is space between our values and our behavior. In that space, we may find fear, avoidance, longing, disconnection, unmet needs, or attempts to escape difficult emotions.

Understanding that space does not erase responsibility. It gives us somewhere meaningful to begin.

When we can look honestly at the gap between our values and our actions without getting lost in shame, we can begin asking a more important question:

What do I want to practice differently from here?