Well I got this shirt for myself and some of my non-diet tribe for Christmas. I had to make a G rated version for my kiddos. When they asked what it means, I tell them it means “I don’t give a flip about your diet” because there is nothing that will get you judged at mothers day out quicker than your two year old dropping the f-bomb.
Here is the thing. We are a week into New Years Dieting, I know that people will eventually stop talking about their diets incessently but until then we gotta find a way to survive this.
Because I am hearing about dieting constantly.
Here are my favorite diet comebacks that I like to say, in my head, or out loud if I am feeling extra salty as the young people say (do they still say that?):
“What diet are you trying for 2018?”
“Why do you assume I am dieting?”
“I am trying the “eat whatever I want and stay away from a scale diet” It is great, you should try it?”
“I am doing the detox where I stay away from people and messages that tell me I have to look a certain way to be worthy! Guess you just made the toxin list!”
“I am trying the diet where you live your life and spend hours doing things that truly bring you joy.”
“Are you on a diet, have you lost weight?”
“I don’t do diets.”
“I broke up with diet culture years ago– it has been super freeing, you should try it!”
“How do I look? I started a new diet and have lost 272356327654765426 lbs!”
“Woah! That seems like a lot of weight to lose have you talked to a health professional about whether that is healthy for you? It really concerns me that you have lost so much weight so quickly.”
“I think you are an incredible person and would never use a number on a scale to judge a person.” (This only works if you think they are incredible or if you don’t think that but really want to improve your white lying skills.)
“I am sorry, I have vowed to never complement a person on their weight loss or physical appearance because I don’t believe that is the most important thing about us as individuals, plus often people are losing weight in ways that are very harmful so I never assume weight loss is a positive thing.”
“You should try this new diet with me.”
“It is very interesting that you think I would want to diet. I don’t.”
“Haven’t you heard? Diet’s don’t work!”
“I have tried dieting in the past. I have tried every diet. All diets have given me is a horrible relationship with food and my body. I am working on something called Intuitive Eating, I would love to tell you more about this…”
“I am not interested in dieting. I think I would rather spend my energy becoming the first female president.”
“Oh- This isn’t a diet this is a lifestyle change!”
“That isn’t a life style change, that is a diet packaged in a marketing scheme. Big businesses have discovered that research is showing how bad diets are for us so dieting companies had to change the name so vulnerable people can be suckered into still spending money on diets- I mean “lifestyle changes”.”
“If it is a program designed to tell me what, when, and how much I can eat in order to influence my health, shape, or weight that is a diet. Diets only harm us.”
“Yawn. Every diet says it’s a lifestyle change these days.”
“What are we going to do to burn off this meal?”
“I trust my body to do what it is designed to do.”
“This meal was actually very enjoyable and I feel no need to punish myself for it.”
“I am just going to live my life and not beat myself up for eating a meal.”
“I think the real question is, what are we going to do to have a healthier attitude around food and our bodies?”
“Let’s eat a cheat meal together and then start our diets tomorrow!”
“Ummmm. No. I eat whatever I want every day. This way I’m not set up for binging behavior where I make myself sick on cheat meals.”
“Did you know this is called “Last Supper Thinking” you actually end up eating way more than if you gave yourself permission to eat “cheat foods” all the time?”
Knowing how to respond in these situations can be so difficult. Even though I work in the eating disorder recovery field and blog about dieting constantly, I find myself stumped with certain people or situations. I try to give myself permission and compassion when I say something I wish I had said differently, or I remain silent. Sometimes it is helpful for me and my clients to write responses down or rehearse interactions. We often feel blindsided in conversations and don’t really know what to say. That’s okay.
Practicing these conversations helps battle the biggest critic my client’s ever face, their eating disorder voice. You know, that voice that tells you that you don’t deserve breakfast because you ate “too much” yesterday. The voice that tells you that you are worthless and invaluable because your body is a certain weight or shape. The voice that tells you that you have to wake up this morning and punish your body with a run or workout because you don’t deserve rest. The voice that is terrified of unhealthy foods, to the detriment of your mental health. The voice that says, no one will ever truly love you. I hate that voice and I hope that is the one you learn to argue with and triumph over!
Your eating disorder voice is not interested in your well being. Your eating disorder voice is certainly not interested in your health and your eating disorder voice has no desire for you to recover.
I look at fighting the little nagging diet voices in our lives as training for conquering the biggest critic, the eating disorder voice. Fight that voice because recovery is the most freeing experience you will ever have and it is 100% possible!